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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24520369">Boy in a swing</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Interiorwinter/pseuds/Interiorwinter'>Interiorwinter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Criminal Minds (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, relationship beginning</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:28:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,496</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24520369</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Interiorwinter/pseuds/Interiorwinter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After a reluctant revelation about his mother’s mental health, Aaron goes searching for Reid</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>126</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Boy in a swing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>It’s been months since I’ve written anything so I’m probably a bit rusty. I watched this episode again last week and the closing shot of Spencer alone on the swing made me so sad, so I decided to fix it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>He was so lost in own memories, of sunlight in his eyes as the swing reached its arc, of the scent of his mother’s perfume, her laugh matching his, that he didn’t hear the approach of footsteps. The voice should have startled him, coming from behind him, alone in the playground at night, but it didn’t, because it was a voice he knew well. Knew and loved even, although that was almost as painful as the scattered thoughts of his mother and those three seconds when he knew she failed to recognize him. </p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?”</p><p>Spencer twitched his head into a shake that resembled ‘no’, but he didn’t turn to look at the tall figure standing behind him. Then he felt a firm hand gripping his shoulder and it was almost too much to bear, too much to hold inside any longer. He gripped the thick chain of the swing tightly and bowed his head.</p><p><br/>
***</p><p>Aaron had been looking for Reid for almost an hour. He had no luck at Spencer’s apartment and so he made his way to Morgan’s place, hoping that the young man had sought out the company of his good friend. Reid’s reluctant revelation about his mother had worried Hotch, he knew Spencer well enough to know what fears he must have carried back with him from Las Vegas, what new demons the young man would now be wrestling with. Hotch wasn’t sure what help he could give, if there was anything he could offer Reid, but something was driving him to search for his youngest profiler. Over the years Aaron had learnt to trust his intuition and right now it was telling him to find Reid.<br/>
 He stopped when he saw the solitary figure sitting on the swing, even in the thin moonlight he recognized the silhouette of tousled hair and slender form. He didn’t want to startle his young colleague, so he strode purposefully, but there was no reaction to his footsteps from the boy in the swing. He stood behind the hunched figure and spoke, placing a comforting hand on the man’s shoulder and Spencer seemed to droop beneath his touch. Before he could think about what he was doing, and what it might mean, Aaron shifted his grip and began to stroke the pale skin of Spencer’s neck with his thumb. It was an oddly intimate gesture, but no more or less odd than standing in a children’s playground at close to midnight, waiting for Dr. Spencer Reid to open up.<br/>
Aaron felt Reid’s pulse begin to quicken under his touch, it surprised him a little, as did the breathy sigh that escaped Spencer’s lips. Reid tilted his head back slowly, his eyes closed and Aaron found himself staring down at a face impossibly beautiful and tragic at the same time. In the low light Spencer looked ethereal, neither masculine nor feminine, but something that transcended both and Aaron felt his body stir at the sight. The top of Reid’s head rested against Aaron’s groin, whether by accident or design he couldn’t tell. Just as he was trying to decide if he wanted to take a step back to break the contact or whether Spencer resting against his body was exactly what he wanted in that moment, Spencer’s lips parted.</p><p>“Aaron?” the boy whispered, and the sound of his name uttered with such longing washed through Hotch like a tide.</p><p><br/>
“Spencer,” Hotch found he was also whispering, although they were alone in the dim light of the night. “What do you need?”</p><p><br/>
Spencer opened his eyes and Aaron could feel himself being drawn into the penetrating gaze. In the moonlight Spencer’s eyes had lost all colour, but the intensity of them pinned Aaron and he couldn’t look away, nor did he want to.</p><p><br/>
“I need…” Spencer began, then his words were replaced with a low sob. He knew that it was wildly inappropriate, but the feel of Spencer’s pulse was no longer enough, so Aaron shifted his grip on Spencer’s shoulder and moved his hand to carefully cup the boy’s chin, pressing Reid’s head slightly more firmly against his body. He began to draw his thumb across Spencer’s bottom lip, gently stroking the soft fullness of his mouth. Spencer nuzzled more closely against Aaron’s groin, sending sparks of heat through the older man’s body. <br/>
Spencer covered Aaron’s hand with his own, tugging it back before placing a soft kiss on the palm of Aaron’s hand and then guiding it back to rest gently against his cheek. </p><p><br/>
“I need… you.” </p><p><br/>
Not wanting to let go, Aaron stepped around the swing and crouched down in front of the boy. <br/>
“If I thought it would make it better, I would. But I don’t want to lose you, and this...” Aaron placed his free hand at the top of Spencer’s thigh and squeezed, “this could go so terribly wrong.” </p><p><br/>
Spencer closed his eyes at Aaron’s words, then opened them slowly, a bitterness present in his gaze that had been missing before. <br/>
“I thought you would be more honest with me than the ‘sex will ruin a good relationship’ excuse, but if that’s what you’re going with, I guess it will do as well as any other.”</p><p><br/>
“It wouldn’t just be sex though, would it. It couldn’t be, not knowing each other the way we do.”</p><p><br/>
“And you want me to believe that’s what’s stopping you?”</p><p><br/>
“I don’t lie to you.”</p><p><br/>
“Except that one time, you know, when you told me my friend was dead…”</p><p><br/>
“Spence,” Aaron sighed. “I’m not good at giving other people what they need. I’m not good at giving at all really.” Spencer frowned.</p><p><br/>
“Has it ever occurred to you that the problem with your marriage wasn’t that you weren’t able to be giving, it was that she wasn’t interested in what you were offering.” </p><p><br/>
“It’s not that simple…”</p><p><br/>
“What if it is? What if it’s exactly that simple. You weren’t what she really wanted, just as I’m not what you really want.’ It was Spencer’s turn to sigh softly. “And I can’t honestly blame you. Who knows, in a few years I might not even remember your name.”</p><p><br/>
“When you were still in the target age range for schizophrenia, did it stop you doing the things you wanted, from being the person you wanted to be?”</p><p><br/>
“No,” Spencer admitted. “I think maybe it made me pursue my goals even harder, faster, you know…just in case.”</p><p><br/>
“And now? Is there any reason your mother’s diagnosis should make you change anything in your life?”</p><p><br/>
“Yes, it should make me even more determined to chase the things I want.” Spencer leaned towards the man crouching before him. “Like this…” Spencer’s hand found its place on the back of Hotch’s neck and he pulled him closer. </p><p><br/>
Aaron felt himself tense as Spencer’s lips brushed against his own and then he relaxed as the soft fullness of Spencer’s kiss melted away the last of his hesitation.  He buried his hand in Spencer’s mess of curls and as Spencer’s mouth opened against his Aaron pushed his tongue inside, exploring, tasting and claiming. Slowly he rose from his crouch and pulled Spencer with him, wrapping his arms around the young man’s slight body, pulling him taut against his own. Hotch could feel the answering hardness against his, and he slid his hands down to grab the curve of Spencer’s ass as he rocked his hips forward. Spencer whimpered softly, and Aaron discovered he quite liked it when Spencer made that strangled little moan.</p><p><br/>
“This?” Aaron whispered, as Spencer’s mouth began a tactical assault on exactly the spot on Aaron’s throat that made him quiver and his breath hitch. “This is really what you want?” Spencer ceased his assault and tipped his head back far enough to meet Aaron’s gaze.</p><p><br/>
“Not just that, I want all of it. Yes, I want you in my bed, but I want you in my life too. I want dinners, and trips to the supermarket, arguments over laundry, shared laughter, shared grief. It’s not enough anymore to just want you from a distance, and I don’t know…I don’t know how much time I have…”</p><p><br/>
“Shh…” Aaron said, taking Spencer’s mouth again with his own, to stop the words he didn’t want to hear. This time the kiss was hard and hungry, Aaron knew that in the end he’d give Spencer anything he wanted because anything Spencer wanted was better than not having Spencer anymore. </p><p><br/>
“Will you take me home?” Spencer asked, his eyes dark with the full meaning of his question.</p><p><br/>
“I think that would be the wise thing to do, before we find ourselves arrested for lewd behavior.” </p><p><br/>
Spencer grinned. “That would be an interesting call you’d have to make to Rossi.” Hotch laughed and put one arm protectively around Reid’s shoulders as he led him away from the swing. </p><p><br/>
“Not as interesting as the one you’d have to make to Morgan.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
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